


The World is Ending and There is Nothing Else to Do for Four Sober Boys in One Room

by Ihatewriting



Series: Who said what in that little town somewhere in Colorado? [4]
Category: South Park
Genre: Bad Jokes, Comedy, Dialogue-Only, M/M, Racism, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24567550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihatewriting/pseuds/Ihatewriting
Summary: There is absolutely nothing to do, and shit everywhere is falling apart, so the four chatter.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Series: Who said what in that little town somewhere in Colorado? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688284
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	The World is Ending and There is Nothing Else to Do for Four Sober Boys in One Room

**Author's Note:**

> I need something to escape the news... there are only dialogues with no dialogue tags. I saw the horrific Marvel new comic and I came up with this idea... an absolute shit idea. But I love the four boys, so fuck it. The character are presumed to be fourteen or fifteen years old. I tried to be as faithful to the character as possible, but OOC should be expected, I am not T&M, believe it or not. There are some very edgy and racist joke so please understand the one that is racist, is a cartoon character called Eric Cartman, not me.

“We are bored.” 

“Hmm hmm hmm.” (Extremely.) 

“Alright you gaytards… here is an idea. How about we try to come up with the worst superhero team?”

“What could be worse than our cosplay in primary school?"

“Oh shut up jew! Coon is awesome! You are just jealous you aren’t the main character.” 

“Suit yourself. But that is a shit idea for entertainment.”

“Come on Kyle. It ain’t that bad? What else can we do here in this perfectly fine leisure afternoon in the middle of a goddamn pandemic while police brutalize people of color without any accountability and people have to protest but more police brutalities ensue and they teargas people everywhere while Mr Garrison stays in a bunker? Oh and a snowstorm.” 

“Hmm hmm hmm. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Horrific. We will be start eating each other soon.)

“Oh just shut up. Shut up you twats. I take charge here! We are going to make bad superheros!” 

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm?”

“Okay! We need someone that represents me. A big fellow…"

“Fat fuck."

“Shut up Jew. A big bone fellow, so he can just charge in battle and lead the rest of the team like a leader that he is…” 

“Why he?”

“Cause he is a big bone fellow Stan!” 

“No. I propose to make it a female. We have enough male superheroes."

“Hmm hmm.” (Agree.) 

“No! He is a big bone fella!” 

“Hey you said we are all doing this together! So it's only fair that we make decisions on the team together! Now the vote is two to one, Kyle, you agree with me right?"

“I am not participating in this stupid of an ordeal…” 

“Oh come on are you reading books?"

“Yes. I will have to finish it before next week.” 

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Don’t be such a prude.)

“Hey! Kenny!” 

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! Hmm! Hmm hmm hmm hmm!” (You are not having your book back! Vote! You have to vote!)

“Alright fine! Just give me back my book.”

“Do you agree with me Kyle?”

“I don’t really care…”

“Please Kyle?”

“Alright, don’t do that… puppy eyes, or whatever that you are doing… yeah, fine, it’s a female.”

“Ha! Three to one Cartman! It’s a big girl! It’s settled!”

“You sucks…”

“No I don’t. The leader is a big girl. What is her power you guys have in mind?”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (How about a backpack.) 

“What?”

“Hmm hmm hmm… hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (I don’t know… just a backpack.) 

“Godgiven backpack!” 

“That is lame.” 

“Stan you are just stupid. The backpack is given by the god! That is our leader! We are done. Next hero. Oh a name… ah whatever, fat girl with a pack, ugh, trailblazer, because she run first and she’s fat, next! Jew you haven’t said a thing.”

“I don’t care… ”

"You don't care?"

"There are bigger things going on in the world, and if I can't contribute anything to the just and equality, I wish to be left alone and read my book."

“Is he on his period or something? Stan can you take care of your little boyfriend?” 

“What? I am not… boyfriend? What are you talking about Cartman!?” 

“Yeah we know. Panic, gay twat, keep on the panic. What other heros we have in the team? Hey guess what, the next one is on you!”

“What? A hero base on me?”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm?” (A hero that plays guitar and smokes weed?) 

“Oh. Ugh… sure, that, or! Or! A goth kid!”

“I am not goth.” 

“You used to be one. We remember, Stan.” 

“Oh that was like what? How many years ago was that? Sheesh… that was like… decades ago!” 

“Five years ago, Stan, when Wendy broke up with you and went with Token.”

“Oh Kyle I thought you are reading your book!”

“You gay little friend remeber quite clearly as well. Yeah, a goth kid. Lets just make him a vampire cause who the fuck cares… and ugh… lets just call him Negative cause goths are all that, right?”

“Hmm hmm hmm… hmm hmm hmm… hmm hmm… hmmmmmmm…. HMM HMM HMM HMM!” (Negative… negative… Seinfeld… Beeeeeeeee… BEE NEGATIVE!” 

“Yeah, sure that. B Negative, perfectly normal name.” 

“That sounds dumb as hell!” 

“Well, point. It’s based on you.”

“Dude at least put some effort into it! It’s my character!”

“Nah… you got it… next hero…” 

“Kyle give me a hand!”

“I don’t care…” 

“Next hero! Kenny! Your turn! What you want? Let me guess, tits and drugs.” 

“Hmm hmm hmm.” (I like memes.)

“Meme superhero. Perfect. His megamind are connected to the internet at all time so he can just pull up the dank memes and flex on the enemy. Perfect. You got an origin story for that?”

“Hmm.” (Nope.)

“He was bitten by a spider when he was logging onto…. Wait for it! Wait for it! The web!”

“...”

“...”

“...” 

“That is the lamest shit I’ve ever heard, Stan.”

“Hmm hmm hmm. Hmm hmm hmm.” (Not funny. Didn’t laugh.)

“Oh what? It’s a good joke!” 

“I am sorry Stan, but that is an awful… awful joke.” 

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Now he is sad.) 

“Horrible origin story! Who else has other ideas? Jew!”

“What…” 

“Make up something!"

“I don’t care fat ass…”

“I am gonna stuff this beer can right down Stan’s throat if you don’t make up some shit on the spot…”

“Ugh… ugh… ugh… I don’t know… the guy… exposed to a failed experiment… in his parent’s lab… exposed to the… ugh… internet gas or something…” 

“Experimental internet gas. Perfect. Name?”

“I don’t know… something about the internet… ugh… click? Youtuber? Video? Screentime?”

“Screentime?”

“Woah woah woah… and you said my joke is bad.”

“Just leave me alone…” 

“Alright! The next one is on you Jew! Make it double! A goddamn twin! They are called Snowflakes and Safespace! Because you are a fucking pussy! You are a fragile little snowflake and like to hide in little safe space, reading your gay little books!”

“No I am not.”

“Hmm…” (Eh…)

“Eh?”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (He got a point.)

“Did you just name your hero Safespace and Snowflakes?”

“Yes, Stan. It's this idea that these are terms that get thrown around on the internet that they don't see as derogatory. They take those words and kind of wear them as badges of honor.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Hmm! Hmm! Hmm hmm… hmm!” (Wow! Wow! That is… dumb!)

“Can we move on? Can we move on? I changed my mind, Kyle is right, this is stupid! Cartman! This is a shit idea! I need a drink for fuck sake... ” 

“Hmm hmm hmm… hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm…” (I got like… half a bottle of whiskey here…)

“Villain then?”

“Huh?”

“Let's create villains for our heroes.”

“Kenny, hand me the drink I’m gonna pass out from the stupidity…” 

“The first villain is a Jew!”

“Fat ass.” 

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm? Hmm hmm?” (What other villains you have? Cartman?)

“I don’t know… the heroes are dumb enough… okay how about this for a villain, a black guy named N---”


End file.
